Showing posts with label Life before and after baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life before and after baby. Show all posts

Thursday, 8 October 2015

Managing my post baby holiday expectations

There is nothing you want more during the first few months of having a baby than a holiday. The thing is holidays after a baby no longer have the same meaning. Your mind is still in before child mode of I’m really tired, been so busy, stressed and run down that I need a holiday - you need a break from this  – you book a holiday – take a holiday – come home feeling rested or tired but happy – you feel that you have had a break. Now if you go on holiday you will be taking most of the routine you need a break from with you, you will still be feeding your baby through the day and night, they may not sleep as well in a new environment, you will have to deal with a baby on a plane or a long car journey and possibly baby jet lag. It's not all bad, you may be having a break from the winter, a break from washing up, the 4 walls of the living room and be spending some quality time with your partner plus you'll have an extra pair of hands to help with the baby, and if travelling with friends or family several pairs of helping hands.

Our first weekend away was to a kayaking regatta in Nottingham when Erin was 6 months old. Desperate for a change of scenery I prepared with excited anticipation. Erin's stuff took up two thirds of the boot.

Usually we would camp but we treated ourselves to a b&b so we had a room with an ensuite and a cot was provided. During the day we were at the river side with the kayaking club. The river was lined with speakers announcing the race results and blasting out music in between so I had to breast feed Erin and put her down for her naps in the boot of the car amidst the goings on and to provide some shelter from the wind. We couldn't go out for dinner with the group when racing had finished as we had to get Erin back to the b&b for bath and bed after which we sat in the back garden with a dominos pizza for an hour (possible the highlight of the weekend) before creeping into the room. Erin woke more than usual through the night and we had to try and sooth her cries under the extra pressure from knowing that we were keeping the other b&b guests awake. We woke the next morning bleary eyed before driving the 3 hours home. Needless to say it wasn't the break I'd hoped for.

The long haul to Australia
When Erin was 10 months old we took her to Australia to meet her Dads side of the family. Surprisingly the flights weren't too bad, as they were mostly over night so Erin slept for a lot of it in the sky cot provided and she wasn't walking so was relatively easy to contain and we took it in turns to entertain her enabling the other to have a break. What we hadn't predicted was how bad her jet lag would be with her waking in the early hours (1am/2am) and being awake for a few hours before going back to sleep for three nights in a row when we got there. On the return home it took 2 weeks to get her back into her routine. This trip was more of a holiday, the best thing was having my other half off work for a month to help. We even went out for 2 or 3 evenings but couldn't leave until Erin was asleep at around 7.30 and were usually home in bed by 9.30-10 as we were up at 5.30am with her as the sun rising and the birds going ballistic was her daily wake up call.

A  successful holiday when Erin was 18 months to the Lake District followed, the planets aligned for an easy train journey both there and back with Erin now having toddler status and being more interactive she loved running and playing outside in the amazing landscape and having a great time with her Grandma and Grandad. Juggling her between the 4 of us meant some down time too.

Enjoying the great outdoors in The Lake District
                                                     
With our confidence boosted and expectations of a holiday well and truly realigned we thought we'd book a week away during late summer this year, just the three of us. There seemed to be two types of holiday available, firstly holidays to sunny Europe - cheap and cheerful, to the Costas with aqua play areas that looked the stuff of pre child nightmares or wholesome, more expensive, middle class holidays to cottages in Norfolk, Cornwall or the South of France.

Our old holiday criteria check list…
  • The more far flung the better
  • Culture
  • Off the beaten track
  • Excitement
  • Adventure
Our holiday search criteria now…
  • Western standards - low chance of Erin getting food poisoning & medical care available in case of an emergency
  • Not too hot – less chance of Erin getting sun stroke
  • Not too exotic – less chance of Mosquitos therefore less chance of malaria
  • Politically stable – low chance of us being caught up in an emergency situation
  • Short flight and transfer time
  • Pool
  • Fully catered – no washing up or cooking for a week
  • Sandy beach with calm waters
  • Crèche facilities
  • Children's activities
  • Separate bedroom or apartment preferred so can still talk at normal volume once Erin is in bed
  • Kitchenette and bath tub preferable

I liked the sound of a crèche or kids club but few seemed to cater for the under 2’s. And realistically it took Erin 5 months to settle into nursery so the chances of her settling into a new environment before the 7 day holiday was over were slim.

We ended up booking a week to Minorca to a 4 star all inclusive ‘child friendly' friendly hotel, staying in a one bedroom apartment with bathtub and kitchenette. There was a spa and a gym too! I packed my sports kit even though I knew I wouldn’t go.

Dawn in Minorca
On arrival the hotel proved to be the stuff of our pre-baby nightmares, children everywhere mostly of a similar age but now this was ideal! It was a lovely week spent taking in the simple pleasures of being together and outside, watching the waves, making sand castles, picking pebbles and shells off the beach and lots and lots of swimming. It was lovely for Erin to spend quality time with her dad away from the stresses and strains of the daily grind. I also enjoyed eating both cheese and chocolate at at the end of every meal and having either a beer or gin and tonic in my hand by 4pm everyday (OK 2pm).

Holidays are back! Just a little different.

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Saturday, 26 September 2015

A letter to my one year old daughter

Dear Erin,

I barely noticed you when you arrived I was so relieved for it to be over, you see it was all about me then but now it's all about you. All I had read were pregnancy and labour books so once we got you home it was a steep learning curve.

Not being especially maternal I didn’t fall for you until you were about 5 months old but now you've got me hook, line and sinker. When I think of you I instantly feel calm and happy, sometimes I miss you even when your just upstairs sleeping.

I think about life before you sometimes, how easy and carefree it was, weekends spent lolling around hungover in coffee shops and restaurants – that was my life for so long and I miss it at times.

I mustn't lie, I've found the changes in my life very hard, I've felt lonely and really struggled at times with how hard parenting is, especially in the first year. My mind would have flashes of getting on a train to anywhere, disappearing and booking myself into a central London Premier Inn for a couple of nights to sit in a dressing gown and watch TV while eating peanut m&ms in between sleeping. Instead, the one escape every day was to the shower for 10 minutes or so where I could briefly close the door behind me and only hear the soothing sound of the water. Everyone said ‘it does get easier’ and it did, or did I just get used to my new life.

Its been magical watching you grow and learn, seeing the wonder in your eyes as you explore the world.  You continue to astound and amaze me.  I can't imagine having another baby and loving them as much as I love you, I feel like I would burst.

I hope you think I am a good mum when you are older, I hope you can turn to me, confide in me, that we are close. That we are the kind of mum and daughter who talk everyday. I hope I’m wise enough to guide you, worldly enough to inspire you, I hope you are as proud of me as I am of you.

You are the sun rising, the world turning, the stars in my sky.

All my love forever and always, Mummy xxx

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Sunday, 20 September 2015

My post pregnancy identity crisis

Before I had Erin I used to shop and dress myself with relative ease, since having Erin I seem to have ended up buying a series of items that, having worn a couple of times, just don't feel right then disappear to the back of the wardrobe. I thought this was just a couple of unfortunate baby brain related purchases but after 20 months of this happening I’ve figured out a number of possible reasons...



1. Different body shape.

What I didn’t realise in the last few weeks of pregnancy and planning my baby weight lost/getting my body back action plan (while eating a tub of ice cream) was that it was more about my shape changing than the number on the scales. When Erin was about 6 months I felt something touching the top of my leg before realising it was my arse – 10 months of not cycling to work had taken its toll.

I've pretty much been straight up and down my whole life and had mastered how to dress that shape and knew what I liked and what looked good after 33 years practice, now things were different!

What I didn't factor into my baby weight loss plan was the fact that I would be caring for a new born baby at the time I had planned to loose said weight which meant I would need to energise myself with coffee, cake, chocolate and biscuits at regular intervals in order to get through the day.  Now 20 months on and a triathlon down I still would like to loose about half a stone, I know who doesn’t, with or without a baby.

Fuel

2. Old age.

For me the post baby clothing struggle has coincided with edging towards middle age. I feel older and at a different stage in my life now.  Where should I be shopping at 35?  Top Shop and Primark still? I think the high street presumes by 35 I should be able to afford to shop at Cos and Boden but I have less money now than I did when I was 25.

Part of the problem could be I'm still choosing the style of clothes I've always gone for but sometimes I feel I look like an older person trying to dress younger (cringe). Also because of my age I can't get away with certain looks any more, for example, instead of granny chic mid length skirts with brogues looking cool on me I just look like a granny.

3. Less money/less time

As well as less money, I have much less time to dedicate to shopping, less time to read fashion mags, less time going out seeing what others are wearing. Less time to even think about coordinating an outfit. With a baby the morning routine consisted of picking some jeans off the floor scrapping some kind of dried baby related substance off them, choosing from 2 tops that I could breast feed in, tying hair back before leaving the house. Sometimes I would catch a glimpse of myself in a toilet or baby change room later that day and think - holly crap I should of put some mascara on.

4. I need to feel good about my body again.

Since having Erin my self esteem took a bit of a nose dive, regularly thinking god I look fat/tired/old. I needed to start feeling good about my  body after the pummelling of pregnancy, labour and caring for a new born. Feeling tired and run down doesn't make you feel good and was reflected in myself esteem. Nothing is going to look good if I wasn't feeling good. I am clawing that back, getting my fitness back doing the triathlon really helped me feel good but I still struggle to dress myself at times!

Any volunteer personnel shoppers out there please get in touch!
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