What to say
- How are you feeling? I understand why friends who have never had kids and have never asked how you are feeling before don’t ask, they just wouldn’t think too. I was the same before kids, you have no idea. But this is a top tip. Maybe even call or text to ask if you haven’t seen them for a while.
- You look great. Always compliment a pregnant women. I seem to get loads more comments on how I look really nice when I’m pregnant - its great! Some friends who would never usually pay a compliment seem to shower me in them . Maybe because you look the size of a house and they are trying to make you feel better - who cares, I’ll take what I can get!
- Are you free this weekend? Don’t stop asking a friend to do stuff when they are pregnant, this is when they need the most invitations to feel that people care and are supportive. Maybe suggest a lunch, the cinema or a something cultural on a weekend afternoon.
What not to say
- You look soooo tired.
- Christ you are massive.
- Don’t tell them that story of how your friend’s 5 month scan showed up deformities (told to me a week before my 5 month scan), or how your friends baby died at 38 weeks (told to me when I was 28 weeks pregnant) or how their baby died during childbirth (when 3 months pregnant). I know these things pop to mind when discussing babies, pregnancy and birth with a pregnant women but trust me this is not your audience.
- How much weight have you put on so far?
- Can you take this box to the stationary room please.
- It’s your turn to wash up.
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